Staying Wise and Positive: Secrets to Feeling Amazing Forever

Cheryl WhittakerBlog, Menopause and Mental Health, Symptom - Depression

Shape up for Summer Series Wk3 blog

Many of us have negative thoughts and low self-esteem during menopause. And that’s not surprising if we suffer from a lack of sleep, hot flashes, night sweats, bulging waistlines, and low libido. Instead of enjoying the sense that others find us attractive, we may begin to feel invisible.

What matters most is how you feel about yourself. If you feel well and take care of your health, your well-being will be reflected in your skin, hair, and nails. There will be a spring in your step, and you will glow from the inside. If you have lost your sparkle, it’s possible to reframe your attitudes and habits and get back to being your old self or even better.

During menopause, we don’t have to contend with just our own negative views; we also often lack support from medical professionals. It’s not that they are negative people — far from it, they are members of the caring profession — but they often admit to being inadequately informed. We know from the 2019 Mayo Clinic survey of doctors and gynaecologists that only seven per cent of them felt adequately educated to help women undergoing menopause. As a result, they can’t identify the tools you need to support you at this time.

In addition, healthcare providers' support, or lack of it, makes a difference to our well-being. Numerous reputable studies have shown that the attitude of doctors and their teams is directly related to patients’ health outcomes. If your doctor tells you that your symptoms are “all part of the ageing process” or that “you’ll have to live with it,” you are much more likely to believe that you will remain unwell. On the other hand, you are more likely to recover if your healthcare team has a positive, optimistic approach. The same is true of our outlook on things. Optimists have healthier hearts, for example, while pessimists are more likely to get sick and be depressed. Those with higher self-esteem have lower rates of heart disease and have lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

Changing Attitudes

Attitudes toward menopause can be both positive and negative. Some women are delighted that their periods are over and are happy to grow older gracefully. In contrast, others are horrified by the process, mourning the loss of their fertility and worrying that it will be all downhill from here. Many women are affected by the ubiquitous advertising and media coverage that sends the message that young and beautiful women are much more valued in our society than older, wiser women.

Action Plan

Create Some Me Time

The key to an emotionally healthy and rewarding midlife is to examine the attitudes that affect you. Spend some time working out your priorities and values at this time of life. They may be very different from what they were ten years ago. Find time to get to know yourself again and time to laugh and share friendships and nurture your precious sense of humour.

Find Some Headspace

It is also vital to achieving a relaxed “headspace.” Both the physical and emotional symptoms of menopause are made significantly worse by stress, so relaxation and meditation techniques are a must. Try to find an hour each day to exercise, relax, or meditate. We recommend Pzizz, which you can buy at Pzizz.com/buy – use the discount code BESTPZIZZ for a 50% discount.

Pat Yourself on the Back

Get yourself a notebook and note your daily achievements and lifetime achievements, large or small. It is all too easy to move on to the next thing, or even the next day, without acknowledging what you have accomplished. Acknowledge your success in the workplace or at rearing exceptional children into functioning adults. Again, we tend to fixate on our mistakes and things we regret. Making time to review your successes helps you build self-confidence. Read back over your notebook each week and congratulate yourself on how well you are doing.

Engage in Mutual Support

The rewards that come from helping make other people’s lives more pleasant are priceless. Team up with a friend who is also going through menopause, and you can give each additional help and encouragement.

Be Future Positive

Being optimistic about the future is more likely to bring positive results than thinking about how good things used to be. There is much evidence to show that those who see life as a glass half full rather than half empty stand a much better chance of feeling content and fulfilled as they go into midlife. Form a vivid picture of your happy, attractive self, going through the rest of life being incredibly positive, and start looking at things through these positive eyes. You’ll feel so much better about life!

Live Your Dream

Realising your dreams requires an effort. Some people say there’s no point in dreaming because you can’t control your destiny. But evidence shows that positive thinking and visualisation can go a long way toward getting you where you would like to be.
Take five or ten minutes each day to focus on your goals. The best time for this is first thing in the morning and the last thing at night, so start and finish your day visualising.

Let’s create a new positive YOU!


Are you feeling demotivated?
Have you lost your mojo?
Are you feeling tired and achy or old before your time?
Are you scared because you can't think straight or lose track of what you were saying mid sentence?
Have you put so much weight on and your clothes are tight?


Does this sound like you? Are you ready for a change?