Would you rather watch TV than have sex with your partner?
Postmenopause, is sex off the agenda? And now you find yourself at home with your partner because of Coronavirus. Is this your worst nightmare? Would you prefer a bar of chocolate or watching a box set on Netflix than being intimate and snuggling up with your partner? You are not alone. It’s very common and not something women talk about even to their closest friends.
Eighty-four per cent of menopausal women said maintaining an active sex life was still important, according to a study in Obstetrician & Gynecologist. But don’t despair, understanding why it happens can help you to get back your mojo and restore an active sex life.
Why does it happen?
Your sex drive changes as you go through menopause. Some women may experience an increase, while others experience a decrease. A lower libido during menopause is often due to lower hormone levels.
These lower levels of hormones can lead to vaginal dryness and tightness, which can cause pain during sex. Menopause symptoms can also make you less interested in sex. These symptoms include:
- mood swings
- weight gain
- hot flushes
According to an article published in the Journal of Women’s Health, women who have more significant side effects associated with these common menopause symptoms are more likely to report lower libido levels.
If you’re experiencing a loss of libido, there are many things that you can try to increase your sex drive with lifestyle changes or sex aids, such as lubricants. Plus, if at-home remedies don’t help, your doctor can help you find the right treatment.
What is happening in your body?
At this time in life, your testosterone and oestrogen levels both decrease, which may make it more difficult for you to get aroused.
The decrease in oestrogen can also lead to vaginal dryness. Lower levels of oestrogen lead to a drop in blood supply in the vagina, which can then negatively affect vaginal lubrication and overall arousal. It can also lead to thinning of the vaginal wall, known as vaginal atrophy. Both vaginal dryness and atrophy may lead to discomfort during sex. As a result, a woman may not enjoy sex as much and may have difficulty achieving orgasm.
Other physical changes during menopause might also affect your libido. For example, many women gain weight during menopause, feeling bad about your body can decrease your desire for sex. The dreaded hot flushes and night sweats often mean that we feel less sexy. These symptoms can leave you feeling too tired for sex. Other symptoms include mood symptoms, such as depression and irritability, which can turn you off from sex.
What can you do to help? Reversing vaginal dryness is a first step.
Making some changes to lifestyle can make a difference. You need to get your body back into good nutritional shape – making changes to your diet to make it healthier and including a good multivitamin is a good start. If you want to understand what other minerals and vitamins might also be missing you can download my nutritional assessment tool. This will enable you to diagnose other supplements and food groups you need to include in your diet.
Adding regular exercise to your day can help – it lifts your mood and can make us feel better about our bodies.
Taking specific supplements need to reverse vaginal dryness is the next step. You need to focus on restoring the moisture in your vagina and repairing the tissues. It takes a while but is worth the patience. Consume naturally occurring oestrogen in your diet, like soya and flaxseeds, to help fool your brain into thinking you once again have circulating oestrogen which will help your body to start producing those mucus cells to lubricate your vagina. I highly recommend a product such as Pharma Nord Omega 7 SBA24 Sea Buckthorn Oil. This formulation has been through clinical trials and been shown to produce mucus in the vagina and to heal and restore the tissues and making the vagina a comfortable environment.
The trials go on for 12 weeks, so to see a difference you will need to take it over that period to reap the benefits. You should find that in conjunction with an oestrogen rich diet, Omega 7 supplements will help you restore the conditions in your vagina so you can go back to having physical relations with your partner.
Restoring your libido
If your vaginal tissues are now lubricated again, thinking about how to get your libido back is the next step.
Libido is a complex aspect of sexuality. Men, woman and couple are often uncomfortable discussing it. And many times, it isn’t until menopause happens that we try to find the time to peel back the layers and figure out what libido means to each of us.
Finding new ways to transform arousal and moments of excitement are important to restore intimacy in relationships.
Advice from sex therapists can be very effective in helping foster a new sense of intimacy with partners.
Now is a great time to continue to learn, explore, and think about the future. Think about changing your sexual habits. What works for you now, or what’s worked in the past, may not satisfy you later on.
Once you understand your body and what gives you pleasure, you can start exploring. For example, when you know about your inner clitoris, you can learn how to provide yourself with the stimulation and time needed for it to become aroused.
This can take up to 40 minutes for some women. But once you are aroused, you’ll have the potential to experience a new world of pleasure and orgasm.
Self-love is an attitude to us and our bodies. It’s a part of our sexuality that many of us need to cultivate.
Slow down. Giving yourself enough time to feel sensual is paramount. Touch yourself lovingly and with curiosity. This will help you discover new erogenous zones. It will also help you learn your arousal cycle and what turns you on. This is a great time to get a good, body-safe toy.
Once you love and understand yourself, and know about lubrication, it’s time to tell your partner what you’ve learned. Explain that you’ve changed and tell them you’d love to show them what works for you now. This is a great way to start the discussion.
You may want to share some of the articles you’ve read with them, so they know your new preference isn’t a criticism of them. Start the conversation outside the bedroom where nobody is naked and vulnerable. Your partner may have changed too! You can educate each other. Keep the conversations loving and short but express your feelings.
If you need more help then perhaps consider taking a supplement such as Lady Prelox which has been through clinical trials showing an improvement in sexual libido. Lady Prelox is the first natural and science-based female sexual pleasure formula on the market. It contains key natural ingredients that work together to enhance pleasure, desire, and comfort. It can take up to 12 weeks to take effect, so don’t give up.
Don’t shy away from finding your mojo again – it can be re-discovered! As we age, it’s natural for us to change — physically and otherwise. After you go through menopause, your sexual desires can change, too. It’s important to understand your body so you can know what pleasures you. Remind yourself that the result will hopefully be great sex!
Get your mojo back on track.
Join Maryon Stewart's FREE Virtual Class Rekindling Your Libido